Friday, May 2, 2008

Mr. Bunny and the Rainbow: a short story by Robert J. Day Copyright 2007




A friend once told me I should try to write about "happy things" like rainbows and bunny rabbits. So one afternoon I sat down at the computer and attempted to do just that. This short story is the result of my brief foray into the land of "happy things." Here's your story Caitlin!


Once upon a time there was a cute and cuddly little bunny rabbit who lived in a beautiful meadow. The bunny rabbit’s name was Mr. Bunny. Mr. Bunny wished he had a cooler name but when he was born, all the really cool rabbit names like Peter Cottontail, Bugs Bunny, and Roger Rabbit had already been taken. The picturesque meadow was lush and green, with lots of sweet clover and other good things for all the bunny rabbits to eat, and a clear, crisp, refreshing stream running through the middle of the meadow from which they could drink.
One dazzling spring morning, Mr. Bunny awoke feeling particularly refreshed, and only a little hung over, so after making a pot of coffee he emerged from his rabbit hole to watch the sunrise. He was feeling so good he didn’t even wake up the girl bunny he’d brought home from the rabbit bar the night before. What the hell he thought, let her sleep, after last nights performance I know she must be exhausted. They’d gone at it like a couple of jackrabbits, which is exactly what they were. Mr. Bunny sat on his front steps and watched as the brilliant spring sun began to rise, bringing warmth and light to yet another wondrous and breathtaking spring day. As he watched the sunrise, he enjoyed his first cup of coffee, with a joint, and then he enjoyed a second cup of coffee, with a cigarette.
By the time Mr. Bunny had finished his two cups of coffee, his joint, and his cigarette, the sun had broken free of the horizon and was resting peacefully in the clear blue sky. Mr. Bunny went back into his rabbit hole, and after seeing the girl bunny sleeping in his bed in the clear light of day, decided that not waking her up had been a very wise choice indeed. She was twice his size, and most decidedly nasty looking, what with all tattoos, the piercings, the scar tissue, and the horrific stretch marks.
Luckily for him, she woke up while he was in the shower, and left without any awkward goodbyes. Mr. Bunny could hardly believe his good fortune, and decided to celebrate by going to his favorite rabbit restaurant for breakfast before going down to the rabbit post office to pick up his unemployment check.
Mr. Bunny whistled cheerfully to himself as he dressed in his favorite bunny jeans and t-shirt, but he stopped whistling when he realized that the girl bunny from the bar had stolen his wallet on the way out. Since he could no longer afford to go out to eat, Mr. Bunny had a bowl of cereal and watched some cartoons instead, no longer feeling quite so happy and cheerful.
After a couple hours he decided to go down to the rabbit post office and pick up his unemployment check so he could get some more weed. On the way to the post office, Mr. Bunny noticed a rainbow on the other side of the meadow. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
The rainbow was spectacular, it shone with such a remarkable brilliance, and it’s colors were superb in their clarity, it was truly magnificent in every way.
The rainbow was so amazing, that at that moment all Mr. Bunny wanted to do was to touch the rainbow, it was just so beautiful. Also, Mr. Bunny had a gambling problem and no job, and he thought that if he could find the pot of leprechaun gold at the end of the rainbow then maybe he could pay off Big Tony the bunny bookie ,and then Big Tony’s boys wouldn’t break his legs. Feeling happy and cheerful once more, Mr. Bunny began to run across the meadow, towards the amazing rainbow.
He ran and ran, and then ran some more. He ran all the way to the stream in the middle of the meadow, but the beautiful rainbow didn‘t seem to be any closer. As he was about to jump across the stream, Mr. Bunny noticed three of Big Tony’s boys coming straight for him. He knew he was about to catch a serious bunny beat-down, and Mr. Bunny was scared as hell.
He decided his only chance was to pretend like he didn’t see them and make a run for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow as fast as he could, so he quickly snorted the last of his cocaine and jumped across the stream with a mighty yell.
He ran faster than he had ever ran in his entire bunny rabbit life. He ran and ran, and then ran some more. Still the rainbow seemed just as far away as when he’d first started running, so he ran even faster. Mr. Bunny ran so fast that his little bunny heart exploded, and he died instantly. The rainbow disappeared a few seconds later, because rainbows are really just sunlight spread out into its spectrum of colors and diverted to the eye of the observer by water droplets in the air.

The End

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