Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I simply must stop getting obliterated and then posting on the message boards. Better I should drunk-dial an old girlfriend, at least she already knows I'm a Jackass! My writing has done a great deal for my personal life, most of it good, but no good can come from spouting off nonsense into cyberspace at four in the morning, looking at the computer screen through one bloodshot eye... Sure, it seemed hilarious at the time, but in the sober light of day I realize that for a man of few words, I really have no idea when it would be better for me to just shut my fucking trap, and when I should keep talking. Don't drink and post, and NEVER drug and blog!
I've recently started kidnapping homeless drifters by luring them into my house with the promise of a shower and a hot meal, and then I keep them locked in my basement! On Saturday nights, for kicks, I hold them at gunpoint and force them to act out scenes from my favorite sitcoms of yesteryear! If you thought Full House was mildly amusing back in the nineties, just imagine if it had starred a bunch of half-starved winos begging you to spare their lives!