I've recently started kidnapping homeless drifters by luring them into my house with the promise of a shower and a hot meal, and then I keep them locked in my basement! On Saturday nights, for kicks, I hold them at gunpoint and force them to act out scenes from my favorite sitcoms of yesteryear! If you thought Full House was mildly amusing back in the nineties, just imagine if it had starred a bunch of half-starved winos begging you to spare their lives!
;+}
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